last time I said I was cursed for being a thinker but in many ways that isn't true ... I had something on my mind and the words just flowed that way .... it's funny what things can be said when you just let it go .... tonight something else was on my mind and it may be the opposite of last time... I've had to tell myself many times over that I am me because of the things I have been through and that means the good and the bad.... people always look back upon themselves and wish they had that moment back so they could change something...

I look back and wonder what life would be like if things were different yes but I see that if something was changed way back when.... I wouldn't be me.... I can think of about 5 things that I would like to see a different outcome but I will never know what it would have been like and I've become ok with it... I know that if things were different in those five instances I would be drasticly different... hell might not even be alive because of two of them lol...

my eyes have been opened for the first time in about 3 years and I am fortunate to have a second chance at life... in actuality this will be my third chance but the past is the past and I accept it... I've taken the lessons I've learned and become a better person for it.... I haven't changed any but will be better able to deal with things because I have focus... drive and many good things in my life .... as they say .. out with the bad.. in with the new.... for far too long I've thought I was missing something..... I am..... but it isn't what I thought it was....

I've been reminded of why this is and I'm very thankfull for it.... for the rest of you.. dont look for signs.... they are always around you.... look into what you really want... and then strive for it..... it can happen... I belive it.. so can you