one of my favorite ways to tell a story is to make up experiences... but only because my life is actually quite boring... but from time to time I do have something worth while telling.... it just hasn't happened very much lately... anyway I figure perhaps I'd tell the story of the day I got arrested.... now keep in mind when I make up a story .. I do say it is a farce... this will be no exception

of course I have a clean record and I probably always will but I feel it would be wrong if I didn't say that up front.... because it was all a misunderstanding.. I dont think that I would have done anything differently had I known about the police patrolman walking down the street except for maybe change my aim... a little background is in order... my father years ago told me a silly event in his life that for some odd reason I tried to recreate since then but with increased margins... I've always prided myself with being better than him but sadly I let him know about this in the worst ways sometimes.... as you all know I can be cruel if I'm not paying attention... anyway the event is spitting accross a street... now anyone that has tried to do this knows that there are many variables involved that could prevent such a task from occuring... wind... traffic.. spittable material... all kinds of things... anyway the street was about 10 feet or so and it sailed over the entire distance of the street and sidewalks.... now the average spit can travel about 5 - 6 feet depending on how far your trying to get the disgusting crap away from you.... so I've long since beaten the distance but I have kept trying to beat mine... well this night was no exception as I had compiled a great loogie... well I set the power and trajectory and let it go... it sailed up and away... floating for what seemed minutes.. over a car that was coming by... over the yellow dividing lines... over the second lane of traffic... and right onto the shoe of the gentleman I didn't see walking down the street.... it's amazing what can happen when one is drunk... sadly this person was a police officer that didn't take to kindly to being spit on.... even though I didn't try it... but he didn't seem to care about the distance factor because after all if I was able to spit that distance why would I have spit in his direction if I hadn't tried to get him.. anyway he took offence to it and decided to call for backup and take me to jail.... whoever thought that one could get arrested for spitting on an officer's boot from 15 feet away... nice job ya boob....