Profound .... DA ... DA ... DA..... some things I was thinkin about tonight.. you may or may not find interesting

I wish I could say that I like living by myself but I've grown accustomed to having people around over the last few years... tonight is the first night that I've been totally alone in a long while... at least this time I dont feel totally alone... and thankfully am not wallowing in self pity or in a state that my life is over... in other words roomie has moved on to bigger and brighter things so I am left with the danting task of wrapping things up for the great island I have come to call home.... it's odd... for years I've wanted nothing more than to leave this place and on the verge of doing so ... I find myself comfortable again.... if it weren't for my lousy job I think I'd concider staying myself... but if all goes well then I'll be able to enjoy my vacation and move on to bigger and brighter things myself... it was a lot of fun for the last little while and I look forward to partying again soon but it's time to move into plan mode and get things ready.. some new developments have peaked my interest and may cause my eventual demise but I am over living life for someone else's benefit... (I'm not talking about yew roomie lol) perhaps one day I'll settle for the domestic life but for now it's just too exciting to let my plans go to waste... the last few months have been a blast and I wouldn't change them for the world but now that I'm relaxed I can get back to the work mode I started a little over a year ago.... I just hope that this time around I dont alienate my friends and family.... I've finally recovered from my major pothole and I believe I can make it through anything life throws at me now... without stepping on toes ... I'm not angry anymore (except when working) and I can let it all go.... I still think about stuff but it's a burden I can carry without to much problem now.... I have so much to be thankfull for and other things I should rectify ... I'm sorry for some of the things I've said.. but they were nessessary and I know it.... someday parties involved will understand... but only when they are ready to .... I fear that will never happen... but I will no longer lose sleep over it....

so now that I've gotten this out... I've been told that I'm vague with my stories sometimes.... well you must remember that this is my diary of sorts.. I will share some details but if your not part of it you wont understand... and there are only a few reasons for this...

1. your not involved and dont really need to know
2. your involved but are not paying enough attention to get the meaning of it
3. You Haven't Asked Me Directly!!

your reading my site because your either interested in what I have to say or that you want to know about me.... I'm sorry if you dont fully get what I'm talking about sometimes but if you really want to know then just ask... my email link is plastered everywhere and there is a comments section... if I feel you should know then I'll elaborate on what I'm reffering too... I dont ordinarily open up ... and I wont do it for just anyone... I do like to talk about stuff because it's theraputic and I feel that I have a lot to gain or offer by talking things over.... some of my past has not realized this or taken me seriously but I have taken all my information and delt with it the best way I could... the world would be a much better place if communication was used more appropriately.... perhaps one day the human race will learn it's lessons and move on... unfortunately I am believing this will never happen.. but I'll try to do my part.... it's brought me this far.. and things are looking up.... enjoy yewrselves....