I have some really .. really bad news...... I have been.... oh I can't even say it.. I dont want to say it... if I say it ... that will mean it's real..... that it really happened to me.... but I must inform everyone of what has happened...... yes I must say....

I have been in...... no you dont want to hear it.... you might avoid me.... I really dont want that to happen..... but it's kind of important... not super important but perhaps important enough that people get warned..... ok so I'll tell you....

ladies and gemtlemen (if there are such things) I have been infected with a highly contagious disease.... but I'm not the first person to get it... nor will I be the last.... symptoms include dizziness nauseousness and super tiredness... sometimes makes one excrete bodily fluids uncontrollably... but that's just disgusting....

your asking yourself what could I possibly have... and more importantly... should I steer clear..... well you could but chances are you already have this disease yourself... so what would be the point.... perhaps you should take some time to think about a few things... no I dont mean look into my past history.. that would also prove pointless.... what do I have then??? I could say the common cold... but that's not it.... I could say alcoholism.. but I've already admitted to that.. so what's left then.... no people it's not an STD lol....

the answer....... stay tuned it shall be revealled soon enough...



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so a few days later I reveal the secret disease.... before I get into that I will share a few of the suggested guesses of other people .... one suggested that my disease was mono..... thanks people... I appretiate that.... but no it's not an actual disease of the sickly kind......

another suggestion was love.....

I found this amusing.... because I've made it very clear of my intentions to leave the island so I dont believe love would be a good thing to find right now unless that love was going to travel with me.... thinking about this more I feel that love would be rather nice to have as a travel mate... could that happen in a week?..... one question.... how would love cause someone to have bladder problems???... I find that very strange lol....

other suggestions included: paranoia, schizophrenia (I like this one.. so do I) and a few ranges of sickly diseases that I would not want to mention.....

I was planning on making it up to keep the story going but when I couldn't think of something that I actually could use to make the story believable I decided to think about it a little more.... I could have made up a brand new disease and called it whatever I wanted but I dont want to have people I know using that fake disease in real life lol it might be wrong.... so the actual suggestion I was wanted to use was laughter....

I find recently I have been able to laugh about things and brighten others with my presence again.... other people seem to laugh around me (and not just at me) which I have missed for some time... perhaps it's the fact that I'm leaving soon and becoming happy about my situation that I have grown back into myself... away from the always mad person that has grown to hate his job and everything to do with his life over the last few months.... I'm happy again.... well I'm more happy than I was.... it's taken a long time and I still have some issues to work out but it's becoming easier.... I hope I can let go of the rest of it soon.... life will become much better when I learn how to let go of my past.... but I have a starting point and my new friends (and old ones) have helped a lot over the last year.... I'm glad and lucky to have put things back on track and finally in a track that I wanted to pursue 3 years ago but got held back.... in some ways I regret but in some I dont.... but with a future in mind I am looking forward to again.... I know I can get great things accomplished that I have put off for far too long.... I may even see the inside of a school again oh the pain of doing homework lol.... but at least I will get back to what I started to do and I know it will work out in the end.... I just hope I dont fall off the ladder at my new job while thinking about other things going on in my life... here's to more laughter as I begin again.... wanna come with me?.. I promise it will be lots of fun....