it never ends with me lately... I came home to a cold house.... mind you it is extremely cold outside but even with the heat turned down it is not usually this cold.... figures it almost seems like I'm out of oil on the coldest night yet this year..... I go and check on the newly fixed furnace... I take notice beside the furnace is the bucket of oil I keep neglecting to pour back in the tank... laziness is not a good thing to have ... but it's me.... the bucket is from bleeding the line... probably have a good half hour worth of heat in it.... I press the release button on the furnace to reset it... it goes... so far so good... the very noticeable sound of it firing up and starting to burn.... I love that sound.. means the heat will come soon.....

it dies.... I put the bucket under the line one more time.... undo the bolt to allow the air to fizz out of the line and press the reset button again... I can't be out of oil yet.... it spurts out some air and then oil... hhmmmm more air.... I decide to pour the bucket into the tank.... I have to go outside in the freezing to do this.... as cold as the house is.. it's not as cold as it is outside... the laziness in me says go cover in the blankets.... I realize waking up in a freezing house is not good (I've done it before) I dont want to wake to seeing my breath....

I bundle up and go outside.... I stumble.. nearly spilling the bucket on the ground... cursing I get control and waddle to the tank.. it's not heavy but the ice is slick.... I get to the tank.. I notice the meter shows that there is still plenty of oil in the tank.. but I'm not gonna be out in the cold for nothing..... I try to take the cover off... it's more freezing than I remember and I only just came in from the cold.... I can't get the cover off... cursing again I realize I'm taking the wrong one off.... I fumble with the other cover nearly spilling the bucket again... a smart guy mutters to himself... 'forget the cold and get the job done' ..... the cover is off and the bucket gets lifted to pour it in the contents of the warm juice (oil).... I should have gotten a funnel.... stupid guy mutters to himself... 'fukn idiot you might as well have spilled the shit in the driveway cause not it's all over the fukn tank' ..... I get most of it in the tank but the wind carries the rest all over the tank.... I put the cover back on and pick up a pile of snow to throw on the oil crap on the tank... my mitts got covered in it... now I"m pissed off.... the step creaks and cracks.. it's very loud and I figure the neighbours are gonna be calling the cops because of the sneaky guy outside in the backyard.... figures... though they may be sleeping at 2:30am the bastards are always making lots of noise at 10am when I'm trying to sleep... screw them...

I get back in the house finally and not before slipping on the same patch of ice.... stupid guy mutters to self... 'yew forgetful idiot.. watch where yew step' ... luckily the car breaks my fall and I dont get hurt.... back to the basement I go to reset the furnace again... this time I'm ready for it.. I know there is oil ... I open up the release again and press the button.. more air... then oil... close up the release and wait for the pleasant sound of the pilot light firing up to burn up some heat juice ..... it doesn't come on.... I refrain from kicking the shit out of the motor that had gotten fixed the week before.... I maintain my composure it sometimes takes a few tries to squeeze the heat juice down the copper pipe.... I wait impatiently as the motor resets again and I press the button... like magic the heat juice starts pouring out and I close it up and the furnace fires up.... I go upstairs to make myself comfortable to continue with the second season of 24 (the tv show) when it dawns on me that the furnace has gone off... It shouldn't have...

I go back downstairs and mess with the buttons and releases and other furnace crap... nothing but air comes out now..... ladies and gentleman my futile attempt to get heat has failed.... I'm out of fukn oil (the heat juice just isn't funny now) the gage must be wrong outside.... cursing I go upstairs to my blankets and bed.. the thoughts of waking up to my breath are not helping me sleep... luckily it's only for one night.... spose it's a good thing I drank my fridgefull of beer the night before.... I could be in trouble of frostbite

by the way I recently aquired an electric heater... I am not going to freeze tonight.. but thanks for your concern... but I am very close to lighting a match and watching the house burn.... at least I'll have a little more than half hour of heat