since I have become quite the plumber over the last few years.... I have decided to take on the project of changing the elements in my busted water heater.... I drained it.... and began the process of examining what needed to be done.... I looked online for directions... (the directions are lousy... nothing graphical) anyway I take the cover off and look at the equipment... it's a bit confusing.... I try to turn the knob so that the element comes off and nearly snap off the plastic bits... realizing I am making a mistake I stop and take another look at it... I dont have the right tools for this job..... technically.... I have two screwdrivers, vice grips and a hammer.... the hammer is useless unless I feel like pounding the crap out of something.... and the screwdrivers are cheap...

I use the screwdrivers to take off the bolts holding the wires on the elements.... luckily they come right off.... I use the vice grips to unscrew the elements... with a little work they come undone... but I cannot get the bastards out.. because of the amount of time they have spent in water all heated up .... they have expanded and twisted ... they no longer fit through the hole.... I give up after a bit....

a few days later I go back at it... I use one of the screw drivers to bend the element to fit through the hole... it gets stuck in the hole... the screwdriver breaks.... I use the hammer on a peice of wood that shatters to splinters after a bit of repeated banging on it out of frustration... I give up for the day...

a few more days later I get sick of boiling water to fill up the tub for a bath.... I decide to make it a priority to get the old elements out and replace them... today was that day.... I rethink the situation of the old elements and realize it is not important to keep them intact as they are being replaced... I use the vice grips to squeeze the bastards together and twist and pull the damned things through the hole.. one comes out.... I get excited... progress at last... and bending the stupid things makes me feel good in the process... I clean up the mess of the rotting elements.... I begin to screw the new ones in as replacements.. everything seems to be going along smoothly.....

I hook up the wires for power.... and begin to fill the tank... thoughts of a warm shower in the morning begin to fill the mind.... I'm examining my work while the tank fills... I dont hear water upstairs yet... I notice a small leak.... I quickly turn off the water and hesitate on splintering another board.... I open the drain on the bottom and wait for it to empty as I rethink the situation.... a friend online mentions some temp fixes since I dont have any plumbers tape.... I have some silicon left from another project.... it could work.... I go back to it and apply some to the new elements put everything back together and begin to fill the tank.. of course in my brilliance I forget to let the shit dry.... I also forget to turn off the pressure release... when I turn off the release water starts spewing everywhere... damnit... after some cursing and turning the water off and opening up the drain as well as the pressure release I get myself under control.... time to give up for another day...

I'll get the plumbers tape and do the shit right.... spose I'll have to boil the water one more day.... but I will have a hot shower by the end of sunday.... if I have to call someone to fix it for me.... there's just something about bathing in yewr own filth that makes me hate baths.... but it still beats smelling