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Random ramblings of a madman that will "possibly" make yew laff...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I was enjoying a beverage or two yesterday. My neighbour shows up and is also enjoying a beverage or four. I decide to stay outside for a bit because it is still nice. I figure that my staying outside and talking to him will possibly prevent him from singing this afternoon. (see previous post for more information) My dog is outside playing with the other neighbours dog. Actually I dont think it was playing as the other dog is chained up and he's barking his head off at her. She occasionally moves away from him then lays down. This draws him into a false sence of security and he moves closer to her still barking. She pounces at him but he's still to quick for her and gets away in time. She gets close to strangling herself in the process as this is repeated quite frequently. I begin to feel sorry for the other dog because she can't teach my dog a lesson unless she gets off her chain. After a while my dog calms down a bit and goes away from her. Me and my neighbour are having a conversation of sorts. What I mean by this is I'm talking and he's drunkenly slurring his words. I'm about to go in the house because I'm no longer entertained by this point when two guys stroll into the yard. My dog amazingly doesn't bark at them. I then realize they are officers of the law.

Officer1: Is your name John?
Me: No
Officer1: Do you have any I.D. (both Officers looking at my beverage then back at me)
Me: I spose I could get it if I have to.
Officer2: Where do you live?
Me: Here. (pointing behind me as I'm sitting on the step)
Officer1: What's the address?
Me: (I spit out the address)
Officer2: What's your name? (speaking to my neighbour)
Neighbour: mm mmfm fmfmmf ffmfm fmmm (drunken incoherant slurring)
Officer2: Is your name John?
Neighbour: yeah
Officer1: So your who we are looking for.
Officer2: Were you in battle park tonight? (speaking to my neighbour)
Neighbour: No.

Officer1 asks John a few more questions but gets more of the drunken slurring garbage. Nothing John says really makes any sense. I'm finding it difficult to keep laughter down so I begin to pet my dog. I'm contemplating going inside to get another beverage and get away from the officers. I decide not to because I dont really want to miss what's going on. Nore do I wish to give them a reason to start questioning me any further.

Apperantly Neighbour John (or someone driving his car) had been spotted in Battle park driving around seemingly impaired and a concerned citizen had called the police with the license plate. They showed up at the house looking for him but couldn't do anything because he was sitting in a chair in his backyard seemingly talking to me for the last little while. They issued him a verbal warning not to be driving impaired for his own safety and of course the safety of others. Then the nice officers left without wishing me a good day. They did however tell him to drive safely. Thanks for the visit officers. A few minutes later my other neighbours that share the building with John come out. John offers them a beverage. They refuse and he opens a fresh one for himself. We talk for a bit mostly talking about our dogs and their sort of playing earlier. John is sort of still remaining in the conversation with occasional grunts and groans. A few minutes pass and the two neighbours go back into their house. I look over at john. He's passed out in the chair. Luckily he's put the beverage on the table. It appears that the nice officers gave out a warning to deaf ears. If he's lucky he'll wake up and take his sorry ass to bed. It was around 7ish at the time. I went back in the house and watched a George Carlin show to comemorate his death. After the movie I checked outside as I let the dog do his last business for the night. I laugh as I see that John was still in his chair passed out. Looks like he'll be sleeping in the yard for the night. Thankfully it wasn't in a car. Spose me and John are gonna have to have a serious talk next time I see him sober.

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