I believe that as tech support over the phone progresses.... people will begin to start doing strange things.... what do I mean by this? well let me explain.... there are many gullible people alive and because of this it is very easy to make them call someone else..... in other words they believe anything we tell them..... I'm on the verge of telling people that if they ate shit they could fix their problem.... sadly I bet 4 of 10 people will actually ask me if I'm serious... and one of them might hang up and try it just to see.... it's all in how you describe it... and I can be quite convincing... especially when people will believe anything..... so with this in mind... I am asking people for possibilities for my last call.... shall I be a dick and fuk with them or shall I be nice and finish my time as an exemplary agent.... let me know what yew think

I have some really .. really bad news...... I have been.... oh I can't even say it.. I dont want to say it... if I say it ... that will mean it's real..... that it really happened to me.... but I must inform everyone of what has happened...... yes I must say....

I have been in...... no you dont want to hear it.... you might avoid me.... I really dont want that to happen..... but it's kind of important... not super important but perhaps important enough that people get warned..... ok so I'll tell you....

ladies and gemtlemen (if there are such things) I have been infected with a highly contagious disease.... but I'm not the first person to get it... nor will I be the last.... symptoms include dizziness nauseousness and super tiredness... sometimes makes one excrete bodily fluids uncontrollably... but that's just disgusting....

your asking yourself what could I possibly have... and more importantly... should I steer clear..... well you could but chances are you already have this disease yourself... so what would be the point.... perhaps you should take some time to think about a few things... no I dont mean look into my past history.. that would also prove pointless.... what do I have then??? I could say the common cold... but that's not it.... I could say alcoholism.. but I've already admitted to that.. so what's left then.... no people it's not an STD lol....

the answer....... stay tuned it shall be revealled soon enough...



===================

so a few days later I reveal the secret disease.... before I get into that I will share a few of the suggested guesses of other people .... one suggested that my disease was mono..... thanks people... I appretiate that.... but no it's not an actual disease of the sickly kind......

another suggestion was love.....

I found this amusing.... because I've made it very clear of my intentions to leave the island so I dont believe love would be a good thing to find right now unless that love was going to travel with me.... thinking about this more I feel that love would be rather nice to have as a travel mate... could that happen in a week?..... one question.... how would love cause someone to have bladder problems???... I find that very strange lol....

other suggestions included: paranoia, schizophrenia (I like this one.. so do I) and a few ranges of sickly diseases that I would not want to mention.....

I was planning on making it up to keep the story going but when I couldn't think of something that I actually could use to make the story believable I decided to think about it a little more.... I could have made up a brand new disease and called it whatever I wanted but I dont want to have people I know using that fake disease in real life lol it might be wrong.... so the actual suggestion I was wanted to use was laughter....

I find recently I have been able to laugh about things and brighten others with my presence again.... other people seem to laugh around me (and not just at me) which I have missed for some time... perhaps it's the fact that I'm leaving soon and becoming happy about my situation that I have grown back into myself... away from the always mad person that has grown to hate his job and everything to do with his life over the last few months.... I'm happy again.... well I'm more happy than I was.... it's taken a long time and I still have some issues to work out but it's becoming easier.... I hope I can let go of the rest of it soon.... life will become much better when I learn how to let go of my past.... but I have a starting point and my new friends (and old ones) have helped a lot over the last year.... I'm glad and lucky to have put things back on track and finally in a track that I wanted to pursue 3 years ago but got held back.... in some ways I regret but in some I dont.... but with a future in mind I am looking forward to again.... I know I can get great things accomplished that I have put off for far too long.... I may even see the inside of a school again oh the pain of doing homework lol.... but at least I will get back to what I started to do and I know it will work out in the end.... I just hope I dont fall off the ladder at my new job while thinking about other things going on in my life... here's to more laughter as I begin again.... wanna come with me?.. I promise it will be lots of fun....

so I'm in lazy mode... can't go out because that leads to spending money... can't stay in because I'm bored... what do I do.... I drive... lately I've been spending time driving around Cape Breton.... it's kinda relaxing... I speed along the highway listen to tunes and just chill... I found myself on Seal Island bridge the other day... when I got there I was checking my head for what the hell was going on.... when I realized I was heading away from this place ..... as much as I wanted to keep going I am just not quite ready to take off yet.... two things must be done before I go.... and they are going to be the most difficult things I've done in a while.... but as usual I'm not going into details... (sorry lol) on the bright side I'm planning a ski trip for the weekend... hopefully I'll be able to get lots of pictures this time.... but since there is a bunch of us going it should be easy and also a blast... I may even get to visit the bar lol.... spose this could be an open invitation.. there is room in the cars for some others that might wanna tag along..... let me know if yewr interested

I did it... I finally did it... I signed my resignation papers today.... and yes I mean for real.... conveniently I did it on the day I received a final written warning.... oddly enough I didn't get terminated...... some background on this.... recently there was an issue involving messenger at werk... of course we are not supposed to use it.....

I got caught.....

ordinarily this is not a big deal we are just told to close it and that's the end of it... well it started off that way.... the sup that caught me was a bit upset and forcefull and I completely understand.... he told me there would be a verbal warning... good enough I've learned my lesson..... 10 minutes later he's talking with another sup who happens to be doubling as something else....... all of a sudden I'm now being put on a final.... this means I can be terminated for something silly if they so desire.... it's a shame they didn't do that today...... I would have sang and rejoiced... so anyway it's final... no turning back.. I am done with Stream..... hopefully I can make it through my final 2 weeks without being escorted out or further incident.... I doubt that will happen though..... cause I just dont care anymore

what is the big fuss all about???? no I'm not a fan of Valentines day..... get over it... I have never liked Valentines day.... actually I'm lieing.... there were two years that I actually enjoyed it..... the first was the first time that we got to pass out valentines to each kid in class.... it was a lot of fun to sign all the cards and pass them out to everyone (except of course to the kid you hated but yew had to give the kid one anyway) perhaps it would be a better event if everyone did that every year.... can you imagine getting one of them cheezy little barbie or He-Man valentines from some random person at work.... the odd part is I used to do that because it put smiles on peoples faces.... perhaps they were just laughing at me for doing it but that was the point.... I was a big fan of moral around the workplace... when we were laughing and carrying on it was more fun to work here..... anyway I nearly went forth with the valentines again this year but it's lost it's luster on me.... though I do have friends around the building I just dont feel up to it to celebrate a meaningless (for me) day ... it just brings back to much unpleasantness for me..... but that's not what this is about...... which brings me back to the time that I liked this day....

second time that I actually enjoyed this day would be years ago when I gave my first true love a single rose and a card.... I got nothing except a very nice kiss in return..... but that didn't matter because I had made her very happy.... which is the actual point..... this day is all about the woman in yewr life..... not couples... not a love day... it's about her.... and this is the reason I do not like the day.... for a very long time I've not had someone worthy of the pleasantries of this event and notice how I do not call it a holiday....

why is it that some people require a specific day to show that they care about someone... I say it every year... can you not do something special every day of your life? or at least mostly every day..... I used to have one thing that I did nearly every day.... for some weird reason I stopped doing it... I'll never know why.... perhaps something subconsious.... but it really doesn't matter anymore.... I dont wanna go back anymore....

thankfully tomorrow is another day...... on a brighter note... 9/10ths of the people signed into my messenger list today had valentines messages... how cute.... but my favorites of the bunch:

Fuck Valentine's Day, fuck everyone who enjoys it, fuck everybody in a happy relationship, and fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. (it's nice when someone shares your opinion)


Happy VD (ummm I dont think that people should be celebrating a venereal disease)

Happy Valenshit day... someone please fuk my wife (this one needs no explanation or I am just gonna refuse to lol)

and of course mine:
Valentines day is for suckers!!!!

it's pretty dusty in the Office... the air ventilation is horrible... this causes me to sneeze once in a while.... meanwhile my customer is rambling on about his non supported issue when all of a sudden my side of the phone goes quiet.... I had placed the guy on mute.... AAAAAaaaaaaaaaCHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! all of a sudden his end goes quiet.... I look at my phone.... the poor fella was whiping off his ear because I had sneezed into the phone.... I excuse myself (I dont normally do this) and proceed to tell the fella that I dont support his problem and before I can get a suggestion for him he hangs up the phone.... now I know interupting people on the phone is sometimes nessessary but there are proper ways to do it.... I dont think sneezing in their ear is one of them lol

sadly I dont have a funny story today... just wanted to post an update on my plumbing experience... it seems that everything went wrong last week ... the out of oil thing caused a few pipes to burst but since I'm a great plumber I have repaired them with minimal fuss... had to hide the hammer though ... didn't wanna wreck the kitchen floor... I finally have hot water... I will need to take it apart one more time though.... there is a tiny bead leak .. but at least I know how to change elements now and the proper way to do it.... (it only took 4 tries) with all this happening I've decided to get away for the weekend... I'm gonna take a road trip to one of my favourite places on Cape Breton island... Mary Anne Falls.... but for the first time I'm gonna go in the winter... the pictures should be very good... more to come on this after the weekend... I also plan to go snowboarding.. the place I wanna go is unfortunately closed so I'll have to settle for Ben Eion again.... but it will be fun with my little brother... it's good to finally have weather for boarding... I was hoping to get out a few more times before I left... after all it was my christmas present for my brother... such a nice brother I am..

I may have said this before but apparently I am an asshole.... during my lunch break I rushed home so that I could bleed the line with the newly aquired oil.... before I can pull into the driveway I have to wait for some dickhead to get out of the way because he's in the store and wants to block off my driveway.... I hate people that do that... they figure they are only gonna be a minute... what if I had to take a dump... I'm not doing it in my car buddy get out of the way... I turn the car around and park in front of the guy..... there is only about an inch between the cars.... a van pulls in behind the guy... he's not goin anywhere..... I like this.... I get out of the car and proceed around to the oil tank to make sure the oil guys came... they did... as I'm going back to the front to go inside the house I notice the van is gone... the blockhead is coming out of the store.. he hops in the car before I get a chance to yell at him.... of course the asshole in me comes out... I hop in the car and put it in reverse... the guy doesn't know what to do... he's waiting for me to pull out... I'm not... I'm obviously in reverse.... that's right screw yew buddy... he backs up... I back up too... yew dont like being blocked in do yew fuker... he finally gets around me and gives me the look of what's yewr fukn problem... I back into my driveway.... yew blocked my driveway asshole that's the problem..... ok so maybe I was more of an asshole than him.... good on ya bud dont park in front of driveways.. it's against the law......

furthermore I got told today on the phone that I was an asshole.. must be my day.... by a customer no less.... he was such a lovely person... (sarcasm) he spoke so nicely to me when I greeted him and asked him for his information.... the unfortunate fukhead starts giving me a hard time about my having to verify the info because he just gave the non english speaking fella before me all the info and figures that it should just appear on my screen and I can begin... if things were magic sir I would reach through the phone and snap my fingers and your stupid issue would be fixed.... amazing isn't it sir....

welcome back to reality.... the man describes his issue after we get through the stupid stuff.... I know the issue already but since he's being a dick I let him ramble.... I've got nothing but time... I'm going home soon... after he rambles for a bit I interupt him and begin to lead him through some steps... he begins to display his fukheadidness again and so I decide to lead him on the long way of the steps.... I'm nice like that.... the nice man is becoming less than patient with me and starts to display moreso that I have no idea what I'm doing.....

Ya think?? .... so he continues to follow along and I give him another order to do steps... he replys speaking as though nothing is out of the ordinary and like he's talking to his best friend..... (example) "blah blah blah ok asshole blah blah blah blah" the blahs will represent him repeating my directions..... I'm shocked... I dont know what to say so I explaim 'Excuse me SIR????' for me to use sir on a call it's not going well.... he ignored me and kept talking as if nothing happened.... it took everything I had to not call him out on it and continue the call as if nothing had happened... personally I had a good laugh over it.... but anyway at this point I am no longer wanting to speak to him so I cut to the chase..... point blank I tell the guy there is something wrong with his drive and he needs to do something about it... he doesn't beleive me.... I prove it to him by having him try on his other system.... of course it works and he feels like an idiot after all... screw yew buddy get off my phone....

it never ends with me lately... I came home to a cold house.... mind you it is extremely cold outside but even with the heat turned down it is not usually this cold.... figures it almost seems like I'm out of oil on the coldest night yet this year..... I go and check on the newly fixed furnace... I take notice beside the furnace is the bucket of oil I keep neglecting to pour back in the tank... laziness is not a good thing to have ... but it's me.... the bucket is from bleeding the line... probably have a good half hour worth of heat in it.... I press the release button on the furnace to reset it... it goes... so far so good... the very noticeable sound of it firing up and starting to burn.... I love that sound.. means the heat will come soon.....

it dies.... I put the bucket under the line one more time.... undo the bolt to allow the air to fizz out of the line and press the reset button again... I can't be out of oil yet.... it spurts out some air and then oil... hhmmmm more air.... I decide to pour the bucket into the tank.... I have to go outside in the freezing to do this.... as cold as the house is.. it's not as cold as it is outside... the laziness in me says go cover in the blankets.... I realize waking up in a freezing house is not good (I've done it before) I dont want to wake to seeing my breath....

I bundle up and go outside.... I stumble.. nearly spilling the bucket on the ground... cursing I get control and waddle to the tank.. it's not heavy but the ice is slick.... I get to the tank.. I notice the meter shows that there is still plenty of oil in the tank.. but I'm not gonna be out in the cold for nothing..... I try to take the cover off... it's more freezing than I remember and I only just came in from the cold.... I can't get the cover off... cursing again I realize I'm taking the wrong one off.... I fumble with the other cover nearly spilling the bucket again... a smart guy mutters to himself... 'forget the cold and get the job done' ..... the cover is off and the bucket gets lifted to pour it in the contents of the warm juice (oil).... I should have gotten a funnel.... stupid guy mutters to himself... 'fukn idiot you might as well have spilled the shit in the driveway cause not it's all over the fukn tank' ..... I get most of it in the tank but the wind carries the rest all over the tank.... I put the cover back on and pick up a pile of snow to throw on the oil crap on the tank... my mitts got covered in it... now I"m pissed off.... the step creaks and cracks.. it's very loud and I figure the neighbours are gonna be calling the cops because of the sneaky guy outside in the backyard.... figures... though they may be sleeping at 2:30am the bastards are always making lots of noise at 10am when I'm trying to sleep... screw them...

I get back in the house finally and not before slipping on the same patch of ice.... stupid guy mutters to self... 'yew forgetful idiot.. watch where yew step' ... luckily the car breaks my fall and I dont get hurt.... back to the basement I go to reset the furnace again... this time I'm ready for it.. I know there is oil ... I open up the release again and press the button.. more air... then oil... close up the release and wait for the pleasant sound of the pilot light firing up to burn up some heat juice ..... it doesn't come on.... I refrain from kicking the shit out of the motor that had gotten fixed the week before.... I maintain my composure it sometimes takes a few tries to squeeze the heat juice down the copper pipe.... I wait impatiently as the motor resets again and I press the button... like magic the heat juice starts pouring out and I close it up and the furnace fires up.... I go upstairs to make myself comfortable to continue with the second season of 24 (the tv show) when it dawns on me that the furnace has gone off... It shouldn't have...

I go back downstairs and mess with the buttons and releases and other furnace crap... nothing but air comes out now..... ladies and gentleman my futile attempt to get heat has failed.... I'm out of fukn oil (the heat juice just isn't funny now) the gage must be wrong outside.... cursing I go upstairs to my blankets and bed.. the thoughts of waking up to my breath are not helping me sleep... luckily it's only for one night.... spose it's a good thing I drank my fridgefull of beer the night before.... I could be in trouble of frostbite

by the way I recently aquired an electric heater... I am not going to freeze tonight.. but thanks for your concern... but I am very close to lighting a match and watching the house burn.... at least I'll have a little more than half hour of heat

since I have become quite the plumber over the last few years.... I have decided to take on the project of changing the elements in my busted water heater.... I drained it.... and began the process of examining what needed to be done.... I looked online for directions... (the directions are lousy... nothing graphical) anyway I take the cover off and look at the equipment... it's a bit confusing.... I try to turn the knob so that the element comes off and nearly snap off the plastic bits... realizing I am making a mistake I stop and take another look at it... I dont have the right tools for this job..... technically.... I have two screwdrivers, vice grips and a hammer.... the hammer is useless unless I feel like pounding the crap out of something.... and the screwdrivers are cheap...

I use the screwdrivers to take off the bolts holding the wires on the elements.... luckily they come right off.... I use the vice grips to unscrew the elements... with a little work they come undone... but I cannot get the bastards out.. because of the amount of time they have spent in water all heated up .... they have expanded and twisted ... they no longer fit through the hole.... I give up after a bit....

a few days later I go back at it... I use one of the screw drivers to bend the element to fit through the hole... it gets stuck in the hole... the screwdriver breaks.... I use the hammer on a peice of wood that shatters to splinters after a bit of repeated banging on it out of frustration... I give up for the day...

a few more days later I get sick of boiling water to fill up the tub for a bath.... I decide to make it a priority to get the old elements out and replace them... today was that day.... I rethink the situation of the old elements and realize it is not important to keep them intact as they are being replaced... I use the vice grips to squeeze the bastards together and twist and pull the damned things through the hole.. one comes out.... I get excited... progress at last... and bending the stupid things makes me feel good in the process... I clean up the mess of the rotting elements.... I begin to screw the new ones in as replacements.. everything seems to be going along smoothly.....

I hook up the wires for power.... and begin to fill the tank... thoughts of a warm shower in the morning begin to fill the mind.... I'm examining my work while the tank fills... I dont hear water upstairs yet... I notice a small leak.... I quickly turn off the water and hesitate on splintering another board.... I open the drain on the bottom and wait for it to empty as I rethink the situation.... a friend online mentions some temp fixes since I dont have any plumbers tape.... I have some silicon left from another project.... it could work.... I go back to it and apply some to the new elements put everything back together and begin to fill the tank.. of course in my brilliance I forget to let the shit dry.... I also forget to turn off the pressure release... when I turn off the release water starts spewing everywhere... damnit... after some cursing and turning the water off and opening up the drain as well as the pressure release I get myself under control.... time to give up for another day...

I'll get the plumbers tape and do the shit right.... spose I'll have to boil the water one more day.... but I will have a hot shower by the end of sunday.... if I have to call someone to fix it for me.... there's just something about bathing in yewr own filth that makes me hate baths.... but it still beats smelling